Behold! The Resurrected Blog!!

Prepare yourselves, for soon I will return and bring glad tidings of great joy!

A Peculiar Obsession

I text way too much.

I text like Bobby Fischer play chess. I try to anticipate what the response will be and start to formulate a witty response. I try and think about two or three texts ahead. I highly doubt that I'm the only one that does this. Come on, originality is dead. I just realized that I compared myself to Bobby Fischer. That might not have been on purpose, I haven't decided yet.

I also am completely OCD about my texting. I tend to proof-read each text to make sure I don't sound like a complete baboon, I do that enough when I speak in person. While texting, I make sure that all my punctuation and grammar are correct (or what my own perception of correct is) and then I do that two or three more times. A disapproving tingle goes down my back every time I receive a "LOL" or a "brb". Maybe I'm just too old. I go as far as opening my word processor to check spelling sometimes.

I think I'm sick in the head.

One Soul

One soul
Lies in wait
For another soul
that lies in wait
to become one
with another soul.

-J

Look at me! I'm a contradiction!

Look, I know that it is a writer's demise to blatantly write what it is on their mind. Writer's prefer to be symbolic and obtuse.

It's a good thing I am not a writer.

Here are some things on my mind:

1. I am in a moral dilemma. I was given a progress report in my Biology class and I think I was given to high of a grade on one of my tests. This brings up another issue though: Who cares? There are starving people, sick people, needy people, people people that have much more serious problems that I should care about. How can I shed my selfish skin? Blah.

2. Girls. Oh wait, that's a constant. And by girls, I mean girl. There are problems not being in relationships and there are problems being in relationships. It's basically boils down to the battle you choose to fight. Actually, maybe it shouldn't be a battle. Maybe just a scuffle. A love scuffle. Haha, I just made myself laugh.

3. Money. Let's just say...no...nevermind. Next.

4. Music. Recent obsession: Of Montreal. Listen to them. I command it.

5. Taco Bell. A small whole was pricked into my heart when they got rid of Grande Quesadilla. I know, completely trivial. Get over it.

6. My mom. I kinda miss her.

7. My bed. I've slept in my bed twice in the past three weeks. I end up on a couch in my room and wake up with a pain in my back. You'd think I would learn. Welcome to stubborn Jacob.

Queens of the Stone Age put it best when they sang: "I want something good to die for, to make it beautiful to live."

I couldn't put it better myself. I need more substance. And a Dr. Pepper.

Things I worry about because I work for a small company:

(No real order)

1. If I'm going to get paid when I'm supposed to.

2. If there is going to be toilet paper in the bathroom.

3. If there is going to be soap in the bathroom.

4. If there is going to be a bathroom.

5. If I will ever work for myself.

6. What I'm going to have for dinner.

My standards

Did you know that the Electron Transport Chain after the Citrus Cycle in the Christae of the Mitochondria produces 34 ATP?

No? Yeah, me neither.

I have found an amazing phenomenon in my life. If I set my standards at a less than adequate position, they are incredibly easier to meet. Now, this makes me sound like a complete transient but I have discovered a great tool in helping me become what I perceive as successful.

Example:

I had a Biology test yesterday that yielded a numbing sense of distress that wasn't strong enough to study for it. My goal is to just pass this class and in order to do that I was aiming for a gentleman's "C" on the exam. I arrived at the testing center of my school and sat down and gave a feeble attempt at focusing.

I needed a Dr. Pepper...sweet nectar of the gods.

After the ensemble of sensory prickling that the Dr. Pepper provided, I opened my book. Wow, that's a lot of words. Crap. Okay, focus Jacob. I take another sip.

Screw it, I walk up to the desk that will provide me with my imminent doom and pray for an undeserving miracle.

Blah Blah Blah I take the test and get a "C".

I am overjoyed.

How pathetic is that? I am a graphic design major which automatically plants a "perfectionist" stereotype which fits like a snug turtleneck. Since when have I diminished my standards? Were they ever high to start off with? Am I really bothered by this? No, not really. Well great, this brings up a whole other concourse of problems.

Oh well, it's not that bad. I need to go volunteer at a soup kitchen.

Chuck Klosterman

I want to be interviewed by Chuck Klosterman.

I want my life to be interesting enough for that to happen.

I'm writing.

I'm writing a song in my head. I should really write it down. I keep forgetting parts of it.

It helps to write music. Trust me.

It helps to write anything for that matter.

She has filled me with music...

"The man that hath no music in himself,
Nor is not mov'd with concord of sweet sounds,
Is fit for treasons, stratagems, and spoils."

--From The Merchant of Venice (V, i, 83-85)

Some things I've been working on

So I was working on this for a school project...




and then I got bored and made this.

One day....

... I'll be this good.

I love finding things like this.

Sometimes I think I'm this creative. Then there are times when I do not.

Haha it's funny cause it's true!

I love this comic. Check him out here.

The Curse of the Stagnant Blog

So I haven't had internet connection in my house for almost a month now.

And it hurts my soul. When did I develop such a dependency on it?

Oh the weak boy that I am.

However, the 10th is when it is getting installed.

Prepare yourself.

This is not a list of what you think

1. Creative

2. Happy

3. Not afraid to make decisions

4. Hilarious

5. Selfless

6. Can Accept Compliments

7. Understanding

8. Affectionate

9. Open minded

10. Comfortable

I love art!

I love people's brains.

That's why you don't cheat on someone!!!!

Things on my brain:

(In no particular order)

1. School

2. Paying for school

3. Girls

4. Work

5. Purpose of my life

6. Pizza

7. My new room

8. Being normal

9. Arcade Fire

10. LCD Soundsystem

11. My family

12. The Cabin this weekend

13. Failing

14. Guitar Hero

15. My hair

16. Showering (Need to make it a habit)

17. Figuring out how to get girls to like me (that's not supposed to sound pathetic)

18. Iron Maiden

19. My car

20. My future

21. My future family

22. Scrubs

23. Lost

24. Making our house smell less like rusty farts

25. Josh's mom

It's true

My Brain hurts.

What the...?

So I googled the word "stress" to find a funny picture to put up on this and I got this:



I guess that makes sense...?

ljkadf;lsakjdf

How would you feel if you got this in the mail?




Anyways, I wish I could see the future.

This is how my birthday went last month.

Okay, it wasn't that bad, I just wanted to make my brother feel bad.

Things I am Excited For...

- My new room
- My Chicken Pot Pie which is in the microwave
- School to start
- Institute to start

Yeah, I had no friends.

Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttteeeee

I want one. And by one I mean all!!!

A little excited.

Okay, So I started unpacking my room last night and let me tell you, it is going to be amazing! It's going to put the "pimp" in "pimpalicious". What? Whatever. There's a before picture on my other blog:

thelifeandtimesofjacob.blogspot.com

Yeah, I'm obsessed. I know.

Sometimes.....

I feel like this....




Man, this picture always makes me feel squirmy. Eeewwwwww.

People I Wish I Could Meet

In no particular order.

1. Andy Warhol
2. Me in 20 years.
3. Ghandi
4. They Might Be Giants (I've had dreams)

You know you're a nerd when....

...you find this HILARIOUS!!

I meant dribble, not drivel!

Sometimes I think I'm too passionate about things.

Maybe I'm scary.

Behold, I am liberated!!!

(Look, I know I already have two other blogs. Deal with it.)

WELCOME fair children to my brain.

Keep in mind that it rarely makes sense to myself, so good luck trying to understand anything that I am saying.

Check out this random ad from a long time ago:



Isn't that amazing? And slightly twisted? But more amazing than twisted.